Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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