Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
