Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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