I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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