If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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