thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
