I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just pee around me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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