If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
