Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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