I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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