Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
