no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
