Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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