i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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