if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
