the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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