But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
