my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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