Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
