Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
