I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
