I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
