Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
you made out with another girl for some wings
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
