Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
