Barsexuality is the new black.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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