Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
