If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
