ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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