i can't believe i had my finger in that
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
