Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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