i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
