I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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