I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
