so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
