Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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