Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
