it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
