I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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