One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
