I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
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Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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