I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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