It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So much rum. So many feels.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
