i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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