Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
