I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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