dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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