Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just invented taco cereal.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
