cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
