My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
