Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
