Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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