I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
