he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The best revenge is premature balding
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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