I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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