I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize