I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
