Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize