So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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